Home + Work: Two working moms — then and now

There are certain fixations we all have, specific ideas about our lives we decide when we’re young and make sure come true. 

For me, I knew, even as a little girl:

– I wanted to be a mom

– I wanted to work

– I did not want my work to take me away from my family as often as my mom’s work did

You see, what I witnessed was a working mother with a big job. That job often took her away from me, and, as a sensitive only child who grew up with mostly just my parents around, I felt lonely. I had lots of pets and lots of books and watched a fair amount of Nickelodeon, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted her. 

My mom knows all of this. We’ve mostly worked through it. I no longer fault her for what she had to do for herself and as (for the bulk of my childhood) our family’s breadwinner. I know her options were more limited than mine are. I am grateful for the latter because I decided long before I became a mother that I wanted to be more present for my kids. 

I remember waddling around a home-based day care in Bellevue, a space that was close to the office of my last-ever corporate job, and listening to the owner tick off all the days the day care would be closed. Neither my husband nor I had enough time off to cover those days. We also didn’t have family in the area. It just…didn’t make logistical sense. We made no plan, joined no lists, figured we’d figure it out. 

And we did. Sur La Table called me in for a fateful meeting when I was 37 weeks pregnant that led to the establishment of my LLC. They were my first client, and they were a dream come true. Together, we worked around my child’s birth and my infant. 

My husband, new in his role, as I mentioned, stayed with my son and me for two days before he had to go back to the office. I ran my business, nursed and got to know our son for 17 months before I found child care. In some ways, it was isolating and a hypervigilant response to my childhood. In others, it was exactly what I needed to do for my family. 

I’ve allowed my business to flex up and down as my family’s needs have evolved. But the foundation remains. I am at the helm of both. My family and my business are deeply interconnected in a way that allows everyone’s needs to be met, including me using my work skills to help my now 7-year-old son write, publish and promote a children’s book. 

I am not the picture of domesticity. I don’t much prefer cooking, and I don’t coach teams, but I do know and love stories, so when my son’s teacher sent him home with a note on a class assignment encouraging us to pursue publication, I took the literary ball and ran with it. This is where my work and family collide so beautifully. This is where my kids get to see that work can look however we want it to look, and we can make money by serving people in beautiful ways. I’ve gotten messages from friends saying their kids are inspired by my son and are now writing books, too. And isn’t that the point? To serve the world in meaningful ways? To make money in exchange for that service? To raise the next generation to be smarter than we were and more evolved than we are and sifting through more options than we had? 

So far, I’m accomplishing my goal. And, as I look at it now, I see that not only has my work not taken me away from my kids—it’s made us closer. Through school pickups, their work as my “assistants,” and offering our shared art to the world, we are a family and a team. And that is very, very cool. 

The battle is not won, but we’re getting closer. And guess who is my biggest cheerleader as I work and raise my family? Yep, my mom.

Whitney Popa is a writer, editor and consultant for little companies with big dreams. A born communicator, she connects people through stories. She believes strongly in many things, including expensive sweat suits, offroad vehicles, good books and bad TV. With her two cats, two kids, and one husband, Whitney splits her time between Edmonds and Waterville, WA.